Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Whispers and Shouts

All mama's experience the homeschool haunt in their years of home learning. That voice that sneaks up over your shoulder and whispers "it's not enough". I have been particularly hunted down by this the last few days.
I think the struggle comes off and on for everyone. Personally, I find with my son who has more needs, this whisper grows into a shout if I am not careful.

I realize the best place for him is at home, hands down. The big yellow school bus is not on the horizon at my house. I do wonder though, if I am giving him what he needs from an educational standpoint. There are skills that are just SO hard for him. Would a professional know things I don't that would serve him in written and oral output? I am sure there is somewhere.

How important are these skills to being successful in adulthood? I'd say pretty important. Will he mature into them? Will he overcome those he doesn't or will they be defining factors we can't get past? I really don't know?

This is how the whisper sneaks into a scream that I can't hear over anything else. It is a form of war to come face to face with the future possibilities and not let them take you down. To not let autism run your life into a pit of sorrows and swallow you like a gnat.

There is a time to grieve but never a time to give up. I feel a little battle weary but that signals a time to retreat, rest, wait and get new battle plans. In the mean time we take a break from trying to write and get goofy. Tickling is a tremendous weapon against the brick walls in our house.

James 1:4-6

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

I do feel a bit tossed by a wave right now but His word and truth bring comfort.

So in faith I ask for help, wisdom, the next step and He will give generously.

Will you pray for wisdom as I search some things out and make some changes around here....again.


Stacy said...

Do not for a second buy into that lie, friend: that it's not enough. God called you to do this; He is faithful. He *will* equip. He will not leave you. He knows the future and your children are held by Him. He is working, He is preparing, He is shaping your children in ways you do not even know or cannot even see or fathom. Your faithfulness in this journey to love and guide and protect and nurture and teach, your prayers, your dependence on God, all of it: is crucial. Don't think for a second that it's not. God has given these to you and He does.not.make.mistakes. God knows your children and you know them- and so well. YOU are what is best.

Love you. Much.


Christine said...

I agree with every line Stacy wrote. Remember Sally Clarkson's son, Nathan, who wrote the book about chasing God? His difficulties are ADHD, OCD and other issues. He doesn't write well at all, but he published a book and it appears doors are opening for him in acting. God makes a way, despite shortcomings in learning. Learning certain skills is part of the world's view and avenue for success. God doesn't need a continuum of skills to work his miracles. Remember his faithfulness, but also his mightiness. He is capable of anything and in our weaknesses we bring Him glory.

You are handling this very well and you have the right vision.

Love you and I'm praying!

Cara said...

I'm praying for you, friend. Can't claim to understand exactly what you're experiencing, but I can appeal to the One who does. :)

Love you.