Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Whispers and Shouts

All mama's experience the homeschool haunt in their years of home learning. That voice that sneaks up over your shoulder and whispers "it's not enough". I have been particularly hunted down by this the last few days.
I think the struggle comes off and on for everyone. Personally, I find with my son who has more needs, this whisper grows into a shout if I am not careful.

I realize the best place for him is at home, hands down. The big yellow school bus is not on the horizon at my house. I do wonder though, if I am giving him what he needs from an educational standpoint. There are skills that are just SO hard for him. Would a professional know things I don't that would serve him in written and oral output? I am sure there is somewhere.

How important are these skills to being successful in adulthood? I'd say pretty important. Will he mature into them? Will he overcome those he doesn't or will they be defining factors we can't get past? I really don't know?

This is how the whisper sneaks into a scream that I can't hear over anything else. It is a form of war to come face to face with the future possibilities and not let them take you down. To not let autism run your life into a pit of sorrows and swallow you like a gnat.

There is a time to grieve but never a time to give up. I feel a little battle weary but that signals a time to retreat, rest, wait and get new battle plans. In the mean time we take a break from trying to write and get goofy. Tickling is a tremendous weapon against the brick walls in our house.

James 1:4-6

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

I do feel a bit tossed by a wave right now but His word and truth bring comfort.

So in faith I ask for help, wisdom, the next step and He will give generously.

Will you pray for wisdom as I search some things out and make some changes around here....again.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Fall is my favorite season of the year. I love pulling out my warm socks, hoodies and sweaters. Curling up under blankets drinking good hot coffee is one of my most relaxing past times. This maple mixed with an evergreen is my morning view each day. I have watched it slowly turn vibrant red as the season has progressed.

The big oak drops it's summers work all over our deck. A constant pile of fun for the kids (when it's not raining). A chore in the crisp air when it's finished shedding. We always have fun cleaning up the fall.

Being an American living in Canada I feel I have a double blessing. Thanksgiving here is at the beginning of October. My heart and mind is called a whole month earlier to remember to be thankful. Though we are called  daily to be thankful we make a creative effort during October and November to speak it, and create with it. This year we decided to make our own Thanksgiving tree. We drew it, colored it and put it on the wall. Each circle time we make a leaf or bird and write our thanks and add it to the tree. We are now talking about how to use this tree to also walk through advent.

We love our family tradition of craving pumpkins and roasting seeds. Determined and focused little guys aren't they? I love that little tongue sticking out in concentration. My mom says I did the same thing as a child.

All the bright colors of fall just before the long dark sleeping months are so beautiful to me. So much color to be stored away and remembered during the hibernation. And then, the color greets us again in Spring.

The final result.

Sadly, someone took Isaac's pumpkin on the left and smashed it all over the road in front of our house. He was not a happy camper. He asked me why someone would destroy someone else's cool looking pumpkin. I figured talking about the depravity of man was a bit over his head but in simple terms we talked about the nature of man apart from God.

Happy Thanksgiving this month and all year long.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

One More

Well, it is kind of chaos around here. I have battled a nasty viral thing for over a week now. The lay down and can't get off the couch kinda virus. But I had to get off the I did with drugs. The natural stuff didn't even touch it.

Our new help causing such "ease" is moving on in December. Yet He is providing in ways I wouldn't expect.

My little man is not sleeping naps nor sleeping in AT ALL. This was long before the time change....which only compounded things.  Have no clue how to get him to sleep.

So many obstacles in learning right now.....YET

In the madness there is rest. Been pretty desperate in the last several weeks. A good place to be.

When I don't know what to do I have decided to just wait. Just bow my head and ask for grace and wisdom. And in waiting and asking HE shows me,

And often it hasn't been some big fix just more hug more meal more prayer more smile more story more laugh more tear more apology

Simply the next thing He has placed in front of me.