Thursday, April 21, 2011

Another Year


April 19th marks nine years since we met and said goodbye (for now) to our second child Jonah Ethan.

Every year the day approaches and it "feels" easier to face, yet every year without fail I am caught off guard by the emotion. It isn't a why or where that catches me, it's the not knowing.

Not knowing what life would be like with a nine year old boy stomping through the house.
Not knowing if his hair is red (like his siblings) or dark like it was at birth.
Not knowing if he would be the family clown or the serious one.
Not knowing what his laugh sounds like,
Not knowing his smile or tears.

There is a space left in our lives.

I often think of all the "one mores". There would be one more bike in the garage, one more plate at the table, one more towel in the bathroom, one more jacket to hang, one more pair of shoes to buy, one more person to laugh with and one more to walk life with.

I miss his little body that I said goodbye to but mostly I miss knowing what made him who he is....something I have to wait to find out.


As tradition, we as a family toss stones from Jonah's funeral into the ocean each year. A reminder that he lives on even though we can't see him nor know him. It is also a physical reminder that he was born and had a name and a family. No matter where those stones end up they will stand for Jonah's life. I love knowing they are out there.



                                                                                                            

I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's newest CD Beauty Will Rise. It has ministered to my soul so much this week. To have someone sing your own feelings and heart in so many ways is a blessing. This particular song encouraged my heart this week.


It was a beautiful day to remember and hope.




1 Thessalonians 4:13-18


13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, [1] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words

Read this!

So worth your time as moms to read and re-read this post.

Obedience is a Pathway

Love and blessings over this Easter weekend.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Book

“Now” - said a good book unto me -
“Open my pages and you shall see
Jewels of wisdom and treasures fine,
Gold and silver in every line,
And you may claim them if you but will
Open my pages and take your fill.


“Open my pages and run them o’er,
Take what you choose of my golden store.
Be you greedy, I shall not care -
All that you seize I shall gladly spare;
There is never a lock on my treasure doors,
Come - here are my jewels, make them yours!


I am just a book on your mantel shelf,
But I can be part of your living self;
If only you’ll travel my pages through,
Then I will travel the world with you.
As two wines blended make better wine,
Blend your mind with these truths of mine.


“I’ll make you fitter to talk with men,
I’ll touch with silver the lines you pen,
I’ll lead you nearer the truth you seek,
I’ll strengthen you when your faith grows weak -
This place on your shelf is a prison cell,
Let me come into your mind to dwell!”


by Edgar Guest



Couldn't resist sharing this after I read it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Motherhood

I have been working my way through The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.

I am getting so much out of this book. I have read so many parenting books but most center around discipline and correction. This book teaches and inspires me to build a Christ centered relationship with my children. Is is very practical in the many areas of guiding, training and influencing my children.

For someone who did not grow up in a Christian home with strong family relationships it is such a blessing! She walks through what it looked like to build faith, trust, hope, purpose, grace and service into her family. It has been so encouraging and inspiring.

"Knowing the limitations of my responsibility has actually been quite freeing to me. I can be God's agent of cultivating the hearts of my children;  in fact, I'm supposed to fill that role. But only God can give them life, strength, and divine guidance. This means my success in life or motherhood or as a Christian is not dependent on my being perfect, but my allowing God, in the Person of the Holy Spirit, to work through me to accomplish his purposes. His life is far more powerful and authoritative than mine. As I depend on him, he who began a work in me will perfect it (Philippians 1:6) He will do the same for the precious ones he has entrusted me.

That understanding is one of the finest gifts of faith I can ever give my children. Even as I depend on the Lord, I must help them learn to depend on him. I must use as many ways as I can think of, as Christ did, to convey to them that none of us has to live the Christian life alone."

Friday, April 01, 2011