Wednesday, November 10, 2010

So I Write

I have been reading every where I go lately about blogging for the glory of God through telling your story. Instead of that being freeing it has made me reluctant to write. It truly is a brave thing to put yourself and your story out here for all to see (to a certain level).

I guess I am still battling with judgement and not even the overly critical kind. I often feel like I don't fit. I would probably be considered Calvinist by label but I think anyone who loves Jesus is great. I prefer to be called a Calvary-ist as my pastor recently shared. I have very strong convictions but have no problem with yours. I think theology and doctrine is pretty central but would never choose it over people and loving and listening to them. I think diversity shows the beauty of God's creation in people and nature yet I have my own distinct ways of appreciating both. I like simple ways, quiet days and kind intense discussion. I have thick skin and a soft spot for the underdog and feel very strongly. I am very passionate (emotional) and logically practical all at the same time. I tend to adapt to who I am with because I see that as preferring my neighbour. It can be perceived as not being true to oneself or honest and I disagree.....I want to be true to Him and in doing that I am being true to myself.

Ultimately, I think it is fear. It is one thing to criticize someone's theology or belief but totally different thing to judge someone's story.

So to step out in this I plan to finish Jonah's story The Sovereignty Chronicles. It gives me a place to start.

His work in each of us is for His glory. That's what makes the story valuable.

So I write my story.


Christine said...

I love this post.

I am something like this too--liking quiet and simple days, and wondering about who might be judging me, but like you, not to the extent that it rules me. But I have a thin skin to your thick skin.

Looking forward to reading more, but know talking about the loss of a child is so hard. I will pray as I read each post, that God uses it to heal or grow someone out there reading, and also heal and bless you on an even deeper level.

You are really such a dear person. Wish we lived closer.

Sandi said...

you are so kind to me Christine. I wish we lived closer too. I can picture our boys finding bugs together and having a blast. :o)

I appreciate your prayers. It really will be a emotional journey for me to finish the will be so final. It's part of why I stopped....just didn't want to end it.

((Hugs to you))

tonia said...

a "calvary-ist". i like it. :)

i didn't even know there was such a thing as calvinists and arminians until i got online. I just loved Jesus. (we call that low, low, low church. *hee*) it IS scary to tell our stories in places where people are waiting with labels and boxes and they get so disappointed in us.

i've decided that i don't have time to care anymore. i might as well just love on people as best i can in the way i can (through words is easiest)...if someone has an issue with that, they can just go take it up with Jesus. :) (you will remind me of this brave sentence when i am in the middle of being criticized, yes?)

you go girl. I'll cheer you on.

tonia said...

and Sandi, it will be a privilege to read your story, to learn of Jonah and all God has worked in your hearts through his life and death. Whenever you are ready, my friend, not a moment sooner. But know that we will be here to listen and hear your heart when you are ready.

Sandi said...

Thanks for your "words" Tonia. I feel the care :o)

I think I will join the "I don't have time club" with you.