"Real encouragement is more about sightedness than it is about explanation. When I talk about sightedness, I am not talking about physical eyes, but the eyes of the heart. God has given us the capacity to "see" unseen spiritual realities that are as real and vital as any physical thing we can see or touch. Spiritual sightedness is a precious gift and essential life skill. The reason we get overwhelmed and discouraged in relationships (in any situation) is not because we don't understand what is going on. We are discouraged because we don't see Christ."
"Encouragement is not just about making people feel and think better; it's about stimulating spiritual imagination. Encouragement gives struggling people the eye to see an unseen Christ. He is the only reliable hope when the call of relationship has taken me way beyond my own wisdom, strength, and character. As we live with each other in the middle of the already and the not yet, we need more then elevated emotion and accurate understanding. We need eyes to see this one amazing reality: that we are Christ's and he is ours. We need to see that it is spiritually impossible for us to ever be alone. His amazing resources of grace are constantly at our disposal."
Relationships A Mess Worth Making
Tim Lane and Paul Tripp