I have come close to shutting down my blog for many reasons. One being, my writing juices have not been flowing. My mind is ever at work but the drive and discipline to commit them to words has fallen very short. In fact, there is not a time I am not thinking...well maybe when I am sleeping. Speaking of sleeping, there has been little of that going on around here lately. Insomnia and I are in a battle of the wills.
Another reason for considering abandoning my post is something akin to why Tonia has left the blog world. She has since taken down her last post which I wish I could share with you. We are now sharing our story in hand written letters which I love!
Do I really have something worth saying? Have I already said it? Am I just contributing to more cyber noise? Yes, I love to write but I can do that in a paper journal, which by the way, I still do almost daily. Why do I put my words here?
I have been praying and asking these questions for weeks.
Then I read this and knew it was God speaking to my heart about these questions. I don't know if she is a Christian but God used her words.
Tell YOUR story.
You never know who might be listening.
Those words have not left me since I read them. She is speaking of the autism community that I have recently become intimately acquainted with. But more then that, it made me think of God's community the church. It made me think of how God used the greatest story of all to rescue mankind. How Jesus all through out scripture used parables/stories to help us see truth...to relate to godly living. It makes me think of many women I know who have lost babies like I have and have gone on to survive another day, have more babies or not and still love Jesus. We cried together, we prayed together....we listened to each others story. I think of all the adoption stories I have followed that have opened my eyes and changed my heart toward adoption. Or a now dear friend of mine who recently committed herself to the Lord and has come through so much.....she graced my life with her story. I am changed by God's work in her and it now is part of my story. All of these were instruments in the hand of God to build my story.
We are designed for story.
My blog isn't popular or frequently visited. It is not going to impact the thousands or even hundreds but all I am looking for is one. The person who might read my rambles about living with Aspergers, home educating, training little ones, dealing with sin, learning doctrine or whatever I write. We impact each other....we change each others lives with our actions, listening, prayers and words. We share our story and it becomes their story. I have been effected deeply by others words and am so grateful for the writing (and saying) of them.
So I will keep writing and sharing my story here. My words are not profound or greatly important but they are my story.....the story that He is writing for His glory. Our stories are meant to be shared...that exchange.....that sharing of our lives is community, His community built one story and experience at a time. The beauty of it all is He has good stories/plans for each of us every step of the way. Not always easy but always good.
I have created some more strict boundaries about where and what I will be reading on line. More on that next time.