Monday, April 05, 2010

Hard Stuff

This past weekend reminds me of life in death,

darkness that turns to light ,

loss that turns to gain.

I have been lingering lately over the gifts that come from the things I have faced in life. The most rich and blessed parts of my life have been born from the most difficult and painful days along my path.

The death of a much wanted child producing a grasp of God's goodness and sovereignty.

The loss of two more in miscarriage teaching me more of trust.

The struggle with infertility, resulting in a beautiful baby boy I never thought would come.

Presently, the well being of a child who struggles with everyday life in a way that you and I don't. A struggle to process his world and navigate through it. A chore for him and something we take for granted.

This boy has taught me more then I can express about grace. About loving in unloving circumstances and seeing beyond what life should be like, to what it is and the provision God makes in those places. That each day is made up of the little choices we make, not the big expectations we create. Life is lived along side each other one moment at a time. This little man is teaching me to savor these things. To live now and not in tomorrow or the next thing. That faith and hope are our greatest friends in each new day.

I can expend so much energy trying to avoid my difficulty that I miss the blessings right in front of me.

101. The fruit of hard stuff

102. The gift of His son

103. The gift of my son

104. The little smiles and victories in each day

105. The life I have (not the one I wish I had)

holy experience


Julia said...

Hey - you were on my blog asking about the history curriculum... my e-mail is - I'd be glad to share more if you e-mail me!!

mamabear said...

Beautiful post!