Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Quick Update

We are moved into the new place. Sorry no pictures yet due to camera breakage. It went well. We have a great church family and some hard working guys in our circle. Thank you!

So we moved Saturday and then Isaac started throwing up Sunday. He finally stopped late last night. Needless to say there has been little sleep for us around here. We are holding our breath waiting to see who goes down next. So far so good.

One slight problem though....the washer, upon first attempted use leaked all over the floor. Lots of puke and no washing machine makes for a bit of craziness. Not only can I not find the towels and blankets...I can't wash the ones I do find.

At least we have blankets, towels and a warm place to lay our sick heads.
The sun is shining outside and I see trees outside every window I look...so grateful for the little things.

I won't be around a bit longer.....till the sickness has blown over, laundry is caught up and my house has some semblance of order.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Help Haiti

I spent the Christmas of 1994 in Haiti. I remember it being the only Christmas that I truly sweat through. It was hot! My most vivid memories are of the children, the orphans in particular. The poverty there is none like we in North America would ever understand.

It is hard to hear and see the terrible effects the earthquake has had on a nation already so desperate, needy and poor. I watched a mother clinging to her dead baby in a picture and can't imagine her pain. Even though I have lost a child it isn't the same. She was probably struggling to feed that baby already. Fighting everyday just to eat and survive. A poverty so severe that moms would beg you to take their babies home with you, so they could have a better life. Then on top of that, the quake hits and takes what little they have. My heart breaks for them. I think of those children in the orphanages I visited years ago. Though they are grown now there are more to take their place. Who is holding those kids? Comforting them in their fear?

Why are my kids warm, safe and cared for and theirs aren't? I know God is sovereign and I will trust that even though I don't understand. These are the times when I truly don't understand. I know God is good and faithful but yet the suffering is hard to come to terms with. I can't see all things clearly so I trust.

As my blog goes quiet for a season due to our move I leave a small way to help. It is so little compared to the need but every little bit does make a difference.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

8 Days and Counting

I'm still here, just pre-occupied with boxes, paper and a cute baby. Only about a week left before the move. All issues are resolved (thank God). Eli has taken to scaling the stacked boxes. He finds great pleasure in climbing on them and standing tall for all to see. I am sure that standing in the middle of the dining room table is not far off.

Unfortunately, catching that moment on camera might prove difficult. In trying to take Eli's 15 month picture I dropped my camera on the hardwood floor. The screen is now half black and white with no image. Everything at this age is a race and chasing your baby without the camera strap around your wrist is well.....not such a good idea.

At least I captured the moment right before the camera hit the floor.

He may be really chubby but he is fast!

In other news, my soon to be ten year old daughter announced how excited she was that she will be living in her 10th house when she turns ten. If it weren't for the joy in her voice I may have cried right there. This truly has not been a parenting goal of ours to help our kids transition so well but what can I say?

If there is one thing that moving many times and not being in control of how long we stay has taught me, it is this.......that THIS is not my home. He has gone away to prepare a place for me with many rooms and what an amazing place it will be. I will not only truly understand and experience permanence but also perfection, true peace and delight. So as I add one more thing to another box, I am grateful. Grateful that this current house nor the one I am moving too is my true home. That home is waiting for me undefiled, imperishable and unfading, being guarded till I arrive. (1 Peter 1:3-9)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Heavy Heart (1,000 Gifts)

I sit here in dim light drinking my lemon honey water in my big black Starbucks mug. There is much on my mind, my heart is heavy. The last few days my thoughts have centered on several of my friends and the difficult things they face.

My friend I asked prayer for who is facing cancer , a mom to three small boys. I was chatting with her on Sunday morning. She was sharing about God's goodness to her in how the cancer was found and the care she was receiving. I felt like I was standing on holy ground as she spoke of God's goodness in the midst of what she is facing.

My dear friend has MS and is having a particularly bad few weeks. I watch her suffer and can do nothing but pray and be a friend. I am so effected as she glorifies and honors God in her pain, sleeplessness and lack of mobility.

My own niece who has Cerebral Palsy who also has been in and out of hospital in the last few months fighting at times for her life. She was a normal healthy baby until moments before birth, half her blood volume returned to her mom's body depriving her brain of oxygen. She is 8 years old and has suffered much.

I think of my own son and though less painful still struggles I wish he didn't face.

Every thing in me wants to scream "NOT FAIR" . Which I know isn't the right response but one I do battle with. I trust God's sovereignty but don't always understand it.

I get angry at sin and all it carries with it. How it mars and messes up life. How it creates such suffering in this life. I want my friends and family to be free from all this.

In the same breathe I long, ache and yearn for the New Heaven and Earth.....where there will be no cancer, no MS, no brain damage or sensory struggles. These bodies of ours will work as they were perfectly designed to do. I really can't imagine in it's fullness, what that will be like. I do know that when I get there I look forward to seeing a little boy so missed from this earth.

As I head off to bed, heavy at heart I will speak of His gifts:

51. His sovereign plan even when we don't understand.

52. His goodness and faithfulness in that plan.

53. That sin and the enemy are totally defeated at the cross.

54. The glory He receives as my friends suffer and yet call Him good.

55. The benefit I gain from knowing and loving these people.

56. The hope of heaven ~ glorified bodies one day free of pain and sorrow.

57. For the gift of friendship ~ true comfort with another human being.

58. The laughs that come through tears.

59. The peace that provides all assurance and passes all understanding.

holy experience

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Please Pray

Just wanted to ask for prayer for a young in family at our church. I don't know tons of details. The wife has been diagnosed with cancer. I was told she will be facing surgery and then a year of chemo. She has three young sons the youngest just several months old.

I am not a crier and I have been crying off and on since I heard. This weighs heavy...they are such a great couple and a foundation in our church body. Please join me in crying out to the Lord for her full recovery and for Him to be glorified as they walk this out.

Friday, January 08, 2010

A Good Life

If you desire a good life, focus on having one good day, one quality day- today.
Everyday is a little life, and our whole life is but a single day repeated.
E. Fitzpatrick
This quote has been a mainstay for me the last week or so. I find it so easy to focus on the future that the world right before me slips through my fingers.
Today is THE day to live to the fullest, no matter what is going on around me. To seize those moments that make us a family. To relish that new sentence read, the funny face the baby made and laugh at a new (not really funny) made up joke. I could focus on the overwhelming details of moving and the uncertainty ahead but to what benefit?
I'll take made up not funny jokes over boxes any day!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

A Peek In My Window

What's happening today?

Nothing out of the ordinary really. Washing and folding clothes. Cooking, eating and doing dishes.
Reading aloud, school and playing. The odd Wii fit game. Oh and packing. It really is an after thought which it shouldn't be. Our moving date is January 23rd...that's not that far away. Not sure if it's denial or just peace that it will all get done because it has so many other times. To my credit I did pack three whole boxes today.

I did get a neat surprise today. I'm typing this on my very own new laptop. I have never gotten a large ticket item like a laptop new. In fact our last and only laptop came to us as an exchange for money owed from a former job. As you may recall our computers crashed awhile ago. Fixing the laptop would cost more then it's worth and my husband decided this was the way to spend his bonus from work. He's such a generous man. My only beef with the laptop is that the shift key on the left is really tiny and you guessed it....I am left handed and have always shifted with my left pinkie. \i keep missing the key....oh the struggles of life. I am trying to force myself to shift with my right hand but it's rebelling. \i am a die hard lefty. See those slashes....that's the key next to the left shift...get used to it :o) So I type in my favorite chair and comfy blanket curled up with my chai tea. \i probably should be packing boxes but I'm just going to enjoy my new gift and one of my favorite things...writing.

The baby is back to his normal cute and irresistible self. He said the word "light" yesterday as plain as day. We all just stared with mouth wide open. \he is growing entirely too fast.

\this guy got glasses a week or so ago. \looking good big guy!

On My Mind

Oh where to begin! So many thoughts swirling around...... just posts waiting to happen. Little time prevents that right now. I am growing in writing bits at a time but still prefer to sit down with time and my thoughts till it's all down.

Much on my mind is this beautiful young lady I have growing up before my eyes. Journey turns 10 in three months and she is changing in many ways. I find it weird to switch from taking care of every single need in detail for my other two and then switching to miss independent on the other hand. Yet, she so needs my listening ear and conversation more then ever before. We get it but in between shrill baby screams and big boy meltdowns. We had a date at Starbucks and Chapters the other night. It was good to just be able to focus on her and listen to her thoughts. She has been reading Revelations of all books and is so enjoying the imagery. She takes it at face value...so refreshing. She is a very creative child and loves ideas and planning. I am very much looking forward to every step of this special relationship we have now and as adults.

The other thing much in my thoughts is the return of my PCOS. I have an attack plan to conquer it. Before I focused mostly on exercise which really helps the insulin resistance issues. If I can get down to a certain weight the PCOS goes away. This time I am going after my diet and exercising when I can. After we move it will be easier to exercise more. It is going well. I am eating so different then before and already see some results. I definitely feel better.

I'm Reading

Little Women by L.M. Alcott

A Praying Life by Paul Miller

Blame It On the Brain by E. Welch

Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent

My bible reading is the four Gospels and Psalms.

I'm Making

Things go into boxes however slow.

Yummy fresh food

Myself smile even when I don't want too :o)

I'm Listening to

My favorite classical CD..... Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker

I received Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD Beauty Will Rise for a gift. It is about the loss of his 5 yr old daughter to an accident. It speaks to my heart. He writes of the dark and light places of loosing a child in a way that I can relate to.

I'm Grateful for

My family

The cross

My new computer

In Faith for

Well, no need for details but there is some complications with our new house. They said they would do something in the house prior to move in and so far haven't followed through. If they don't then it puts us in a sticky place. I'm in faith for them to follow through and that this move will all go as planned.

My health.....the PCOS, constant and persistent fatigue and insomnia. He is at work even in these things but I'd love some relief.

The Gospel In Today

It's everywhere. In the conversation today with my daughter about self righteous talk. The confession of my own self righteous speech. The correction of my sons disobedience. That we each are sinners and yet know we are loved and have a place waiting for us that is unfading, undefiled and imperishable (1 Peter 1). Can you imagine a place without fault, failing or struggle? I do look forward to it.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Just in Case

Your wondering what an allergic reaction to antibiotics looks like......look no further.

On top of this they caused a wicked bum rash. I'll spare you the pictoral view.

Poor boy!

Angry Mama!

Doctor in the doghouse!