Thursday, June 18, 2009

Ebb and Flow

I have been thinking about the ebb and flow of our days lately. Really, the lack of flow and rhythm to my daily life. Our family life has changed so much in the last months that I haven't found that familiar flow again. My husband went from working at home to commuting 3 hours per day and being away from home for 12-13 hours a day. That in itself has been a big adjustment. I so enjoyed having Aaron around all day long and so did the kids. His time with them has been so much more limited. I miss having his presence in the home even if he was working. Life is just more busy with less time to be together.
Then we were blessed with baby Elijah, who is his mothers joy! I also started homeschooling two children this year instead of one. We have faced some learning challenges with our middle boy that have consumed much of my time.

I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants. Not my comfort zone yet in some ways has made me more dependant on God then my typical routine self. I trust that all seasons are in God's hands, so as much as I function better in order there has been growth. I have been learning so much about not having a rhythm/routine for itself but so I can serve better. Routine isn't about accomplishment and productivity as much as a means to faithfully build day by day. Over the next little while I want to talk about getting back to routine, rhythm and familiar. Getting back to building daily as a family and what that will look like in this new season.

I enjoyed reading these post by Joy about Finding the Base Line in her family and The Tomatoe or the Trellis. Her posts have been thought provoking.


Beth said...

I know what you mean. Jason is out of town this week (caring for his mom, prayer appreciated) and we're not sure when he'll be home. We just take it day by day. Thankfully, we know each day is in God's hands and his mercies are new every morning. This will be another tough season for us, but we know season change and this one will soon pass. On a lighter note, thanks for the comment. I see Jas in Jacob also. He is a cute little version of his daddy :)

momma's heart said...

My heart goes out to you over the new long commute and longer work hours for your honey. I will keep you in prayer as you work out a rhythm that fits. Maybe another job will come along that will fit better for family time--when the economy improves and there are more choices out there. Does he really love the job?

The interview seemed to go fine. This was a first interview and we're praying that he gets a second. He'll send a thank you card to the interviewer. Thanks again for praying.

My seven year old has ADHD, which makes schooling him very difficult. I have a feeling the other three will be a breeze to school, compared to Daniel. He is bright and doing fine academically, but he has so much trouble with attentiveness that just keeping his place while he is reading is a big challenge. We've checked vision and it doesn't seem to be related to that.

I don't know what you're dealing with in terms of a learning challenge, but I just wanted to say I know how much of a burden it can be, especially the issues that also affect behavior. So, so draining! We find we have to daily go to God for the mercy and grace we need to get the job done, and also to make Daniel feel loved. When so much discipline has to occur (and we pick our battles to cut down on the negative stuff) it can be hard for the child to feel loved, like the other children. That bothers me the most, I think.

momma's heart said...

We started Daniel on medication late January, 2009. Two days ago we gave up, after having tried three meds. For some, they work very well. For others, the side effects are too much. Daniel lost weight and didn't sleep as well. Lack of sleep makes ADHD worse, so it just didn't make sense to continue. The doctor thought the weight loss was minimal, but it broke our hearts to have to remind our food-loving boy to eat. His skinny arms and legs, and the ribs sticking out, really bothered me. Also, he was having mood swings from the meds.

There are panic disorders in my family, and Daniel has symptoms of at least one of these. 65% of ADHD kids have a companion disorder--could be Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, anxiety disorders, or oppositional-defiance disorder-these are the most common ones.

Experts say that kids who are not medicated end up needing medication as adults, and end up having a risk for depression and substance abuse. That is why we chose to try medication. My feeling is that a Christian child might not fall into these same statistics, since they have God to rely on. I don't know for sure, of course.

What works really well for Daniel is for him to spend time daily out in nature, and for him to exercise daily. Things are much worse in the snow months for us--for him.

Fish oil capsules are also supposed to be good. You'll read a lot about food dyes, but I'm less convinced that this is the cause, or a culprit. I do watch what I buy and I read labels.

ADHD and ADD kids usually hyper-focus on something. For my brother, who was also diagnosed as a child--and wasn't medicated--it was computers, starting in his late 20's. He now has a very well paying job in the computer field, and has thrived in that field for several years now. It seems to fit with his symptoms. He is now, at age 36, on medication for anxiety (freeway-driving phobia). My mom and other people in her family also have this same phobia.

The key I think is to find out what your son is really interested in, and gently push him toward that, so that it relieves stress for him, and helps him deal with the disorder. For Daniel, that is insects and amphibians and life science in general. He spends a lot of time outside looking for insects, catching frogs and toads, and studying up on these things with books. In the winter, he looks at field guides and we rent science videos from the library, and visit nature parks that have indoor things to enjoy. We hike whenever we can, and my husband takes him to parks while I'm busy with the baby.

I'll write more later.

momma's heart said...

I just had another quick thought. You've already been through so much--I hope what you're seeing is just immaturity and it will improve in the next year.

Melanie said...

Hey Sandi,
I know you know how much I can relate to this season of your life!!! Really, I only feel like I am beginning to get that ebb and flo back and without school to worry about for the summer I am working on better systems for organization.
I have been thoroughly encouraged by the sermon series at church though, and find that they are so relevant to where I am in life right now. How about you?