What am I doing today?
I am sitting on the couch still in my pajama's snuggled under a blanket. This is not a typical spot for me at 12:50 pm on most days. Yesterday we had fruit smoothies for afternoon snack and every since then I haven't felt the same :0(. The kids are fine but I have been battling nausea and stomach ache since then. It is improving today but definitely not myself yet.
If you look around my house there are school books on most flat surfaces downstairs. My daughter Journey is very independent with her school work but definitely spreads out when she does school. Isaac's books are everywhere because I started school with him at the dining room table and moved to the coffee table because Eli needed to eat. I so prefer the couch when I am not feeling well....so I naturally would have made my way there. It is hard to use manipulatives on the couch though, we inevitably loose them in the cushions hence starting in the dining room. We should have put the books away when we finished but the big guys were happily playing with construction straws while Eli and I laid on the couch. No need to disturb peaceful play.
On my mind today?
The little boy I will never see grow up. Almost seven years later I still miss him all the time. Visible grief is rare these days but the internal thoughts of him are pretty regular. February 14 marks seven years since we had the dreaded ultrasound that told us he wouldn't live long outside my body. We haven't seen Valentines Day the same since.
For more on Jonah's story see Jonah Ethan and The Sovereignty Chronicles under labels on the sidebar.
What am I reading?
I just finished a book called The Killing Sea by R. Lewis. It is a youth novel about the Tsunami in December 2004. It is fiction but based on true events and people. The author was apart of the relief effort there. It was an easy read from a literary point of view but the content was overwhelming at times. I was so freshly reminded how little I have suffered in life. I have never seen natural disaster, war or epidemics. It is humbling as I read about how these people's lives were altered in ways I couldn't understand. I also thought about what I would have done with three kids if I had been in a tsunami like that......a thought better left alone.
I have moved onto Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. It is an unabridged version I bought Journey for Christmas. I have never read the unabridged version. I am also reading Whiter Then Snow by Paul David Tripp (more on this in my book list to come), The Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent....both more devotional books and lastly Uprooting Anger by (somebody) Jones. Sorry, too lazy to get off the couch and go get the book :o)
The kids and I just finished Dragon Boy by Dick King Smith and started Water Horse by the same author.
What am I grateful today?
The cute little chubby baby sleeping in his car seat. I have discovered if he goes to sleep in his car seat he sleeps longer....what is up with that? Today I took a drive to put him to sleep and then brought him inside. He will go to sleep for me if I put him in his bed but just not as long for some reason. I was one of those first time moms who said I would never go for a drive to get my kids to sleep. Someone should have slapped me back then!
I am also thankful for the guy (my husband) who sent me this email from work. Being so aware of my temptations he wrote:
I guess you were right about what was going on with your stomach. I am real sorry Babe! It is not fun feeling sick.
-Movies for the kids and rest as much as possible for you. Remember, as long as you love the kids and feed them then you have had a successful day!
He also put the kids to bed last night, ran to the store and never complained even though he got no downtime and had to get up at 4:30 am to go to work.
How does the gospel apply to this day?
Even this day, which I am tempted to feel is unsuccessful is all apart of his plan. He has good things and perfect plans for us even on sick days. Embracing my limitations in light of His great grace and perfection on my behalf is worship. My limitations are His kindness to me...so that I might see Him more clearly and hold onto His provision and not my own independence. When I am weak he is strong. Let my heart cling to this truth!