Monday, September 29, 2008

A Little Comparison

This is 26 weeks.

This is 36 weeks and 6 days.



We couldn't be more grateful!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Busy Busy.....

I was reading the Girl Talk blog today and found great encouragement in this post Managing Busy Seasons. I definitely feel I am approaching a busy season with baby coming in 11 days, surgery recovery and my husband going through many job changes. I already have separated as they mention due to less energy and mobility issues :o) I can imagine the separation will be even more detailed in the days to come. It always helps me to hear I don't have to do it all....not that I can anyway but I like to fool myself into thinking I can try.......I call that my disguised pride!

Monday, September 15, 2008

I Will Survive

My friend (thanks Hes) sent this homeschool YouTube video to me for the fun of it.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

My Beloved Sewing Machine

Have you ever had a fight with a household appliance? Well.....today I scrapped with my sewing machine and it won. I am an amateur at sewing, as well as, diagnosing any problem my poor machine might have. It's old but made of metal not plastic...I think that's a good thing. Anyway, I hope you had a restful Sunday. That was my intention :o) I turned on classical music, both kids were happily playing in their rooms and sewing squares together for my daughters doll quilt sounded so peaceful and relaxing. My moment came to a screeching halt when the thread went wonky and kept bunching up in the bobbin. It crossed my mind to blow it up but then I remembered my husband is unemployed and I wouldn't be able to replace it right now. Leave it to an old Kenmore to reveal the sin in my heart.

I have a dear friend from church coming to look at it tomorrow...hopefully we will resurrect the Kenmore!

Friday, September 12, 2008

The Chromosome Barrier

Carolyn McCulley at Radical Womanhood has an excellent post about the value of life. This post struck me for several reasons. One, this week I was asked by my new OB if I had had a amniocentesis. It is so normal to have one these days, especially since I am considered old to have a baby. I am only 38 for goodness sake! I replied to her that no, I hadn't had one and it would not change my decision to have this baby had I had one. She kinda looked at me. I knew what she was thinking. I then went on to tell her that if my baby has Down's he would be just as welcome in our family as any other child...it makes no difference to me. It upsets me so when the value of someones life is based on performance and some normative comparison. Pre-natal testing has become a tool to eliminate valuable God created life.

The other reason this post struck me is, of coarse, our son Jonah. We did have all the pre-natal testing with him and if was confirmed he had Trisomy 18. T-18 is the same as Down's except the extra chromosome is on number 18 and not number 21. The lower the number of chromosome the more issues the child will have. Once Jonah's diagnosis was made the doctors wrote him off. The entire process of pre-natal testing to us was a means to gain help. We quickly discovered that the testing to the doctors was to determine if they were obligated to help us. When it was confirmed that he had Trisomy 18, they washed there hands of him and told us to go home. If we terminated his life there were support groups and services to help us. If we carried, which we did, we were told there was nothing they would do for us even if Jonah was born alive. They said we wouldn't find a doctor anywhere that would help prolong the inevitable. So if he survived birth they would do nothing to help him. It was the most unreal place I have ever been in my life. It opened my eyes to the real agenda of pre-natal testing.

Anyway, here's a portion of the post: I would encourage you to go over and read the whole article:

The wrenching diagnosis of 47 chromosomes must seem to parents like the end of a dream instead of the beginning of a life. But children born with Down syndrome -- who learn slowly but love deeply -- are generally not experienced by their parents as a curse but as a complex blessing. And when allowed to survive, men and women with an extra chromosome experience themselves as people with abilities, limits and rights. Yet when Down syndrome is detected through testing, many parents report that genetic counselors and physicians emphasize the difficulties of raising a child with a disability and urge abortion.
This is properly called eugenic abortion -- the ending of "imperfect" lives to remove the social, economic and emotional costs of their existence. And this practice cannot be separated from the broader social treatment of people who have disabilities. By eliminating less perfect humans, deformity and disability become more pronounced and less acceptable. Those who escape the net of screening are often viewed as mistakes or burdens. A tragic choice becomes a presumption -- "Didn't you get an amnio?" -- and then a prejudice. And this feeds a social Darwinism in which the stronger are regarded as better, the dependent are viewed as less valuable, and the weak must occasionally be culled.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Lord Willing........

We will meet our new son on October 7th. Ahhhh...I can't believe this is really happening. He has a birthday! Now all the planning starts.....who will take the other kids (no local family) and do I have everything ready? Breathe........

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Trusting God

One of my favorite people is someone I have never seen face to face. I have never talked with him, or even know what he looks like. How is that possible? Through the written word...a book.

I am referring to Jerry Bridges who wrote the book "Trusting God Even When Life Hurts". It amazes me how God can use someone who is a perfect stranger to alter your view of Himself....it's an amazing level of influence and a big means of God's grace. This book changed my life about 6 years ago. It is a place I go when I could be or am tempted to believe that God is not in control or good in His plans.

The person, my dear friend Nan, who sent me the book is also a means of grace (hi Nan). It took much faith and love, to send a book like this to someone who had just buried a child. This book came to me in a very dark time in my life and become (eventually) a huge ray of light and peace. I do recall clearly reading the first chapter and being so angered, that I threw it across the room. My (lack of) theology wasn't lining up with a God that would allow my baby to die and then call it good as icing on the cake. My friends timing was perfect and to this day I am so grateful she took the opportunity to send me a book she knew would probably cause me to struggle....but struggle for the good.

I have revisited this book many times over the last 6 years. Our current circumstances with my husbands job and baby on the way have drawn me back to this book once again. Mr. Bridge's book explains the doctrine of God's sovereignty in a way that someone like me can understand. The doctrine of God's sovereignty has brought such peace and rest in how I see what "happens to me" in light of what he has done for me. The title of Chapter 1 is "Can You Trust God?"...great question. This book taking me straight to scripture over and over, helped me find a clear answer to that question. Either God is in control or he isn't. Since He is over all things, then the ability to rest in what comes my way is possible.....even when it hurts or doesn't follow my plan and oh...how many plans I have for myself ;o). Slowly saturating myself in God's sovereignty has been good medicine for my heart and for the many difficult places we have found ourselves. Whether it be babies, houses, jobs or even just a cruddy day. He is present and purposeful for my good in all these things.

I am not saying that God's sovereignty is never painful or even severe. I know I run for the path of least resistance and greatest ease when given the opportunity. Is that for my good? There are things that happen that don't have answers in this life. I will explore this in my next post.

I highly recommend this book. But be warned....if you are new to The Doctrine of God's Sovereignty...you will be offended. But being offended with truth is not a bad thing.

A few quotes I have been savoring over the last few weeks:

"How shall we respond to the fact that God is able to and does in fact move in the minds and hearts of people to accomplish His will? Our first response should be one of trust. Our careers and destinies are in His hands; not the hands of bosses, commanding officers, professors, coaches, and all other people who, humanly speaking, are in a position to affect our futures. No one can harm or jeopardize your future apart from the sovereign will of God. Moreover, God is able to and will grant you favor in the eyes of people who are in a position to do you good. You can entrust your future to God." pg. 70

"Confidence in God's sovereignty in the lives of people should also keep us from becoming resentful and bitter when we are treated unjustly or maliciously by others" p.70
This one is crucial right now because there are accusations about my husband's integrity going on right now with his old job....this one is hard for me...grrrrr.

"God is for us, we are His children, He delights in us (Zephaniah 3:17). And the scripture says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31). We can put this down as a bedrock truth: God will never allow any action against you that is not in accord with His will for you. And His will is always directed to our good." pg. 71

Monday, September 08, 2008

Update

* Yes, I have changed my template. I so lack the ability to do something original so I rely on the blogger choices. I really have the urge to rearrange my furniture but will settle for a new blog-lift. My belly won't allow the moving around of my living room :o)

So, my husband has officially been let go at his job. We got the news last Friday. It is so funny how they keep saying it has nothing to do with performance but about him not being able to work locally. When they hired him they KNEW he would always work from home and that there is a two hour ferry ride between us and them. They said he could keep his (very unstable) job if we moved to them at our expense. I actually got a laugh out of that one! I wouldn't trust these people as far as I could throw them...and right now I probably couldn't pick them up. I have trouble picking up my 50lb. five year old right now :o)

On the baby front.....he is well and growing like crazy. Bending over is becoming more and more difficult....a good sign. So overjoyed at this gift of life. Finally, got the ball rolling on finding another doctor. The first doctor wanted to wait too long to do my c-section in my opinion, putting myself and baby at risk...long story. Please pray all is settled quickly. It would sure be helpful to know when the c-section is going to be in light of job hunting and me being off my feet for a few weeks.

How are we doing.....actually by God's grace much better then we deserve. Though I definitely have my moments.. I am at peace. God would never save us and sanctify us, make a home in heaven for eternity and then leave us to ourselves in our current situation. He is a faithful provider, an ever present help in trouble and a constant companion. All that said, my sinful heart is not faithful, not constant nor reliable. Fortunately that doesn't matter. What a relief that the cross covers all my sins. My biggest struggle (an area you can pray for me) is my own heart, my temptation to ungratefulness which is fueled by discontent. I do not want all the things of this world, like lack of work, others (really bad) choices, and worry to overshadow the joy and rejoicing of this new life in my belly. It really is a miracle that God has allowed this to happen again.

I am grateful for sound doctrine too. As I grow more and more in the gospel I see how sound doctrine allows me to be (come) the helper and mom I am designed to be. When the storms hit my hope is that the waves hit a firm wall of sound truth by his grace and there will be no tossing about. This is my prayer.

Don't get the wrong impression. I have my moments, I am still tired and weary in many ways. I also have a surgery recovery ahead of me in the next few weeks...not knowing if my husband will be working or not. At the end of the day God is unshakable therefore I can rest. When I can't rest he will still show up!

Thanks for all your prayers.

I have been reading some great books lately that have lead my heart to truth that I hope to share about....where would I be without the written word!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

September Already?

Can't believe we are already headed into fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. I am not a hot person :o) My blogging break in August was an attempt to focus on getting organized for the fall. We started homeschooling again daily last Monday and are back into a more focused routine. I spent my break planning curriculum and routines on paper to create accountability for myself...especially once we add a new member to family. We also worked hard over the summer to finish our Botany book for science and meet all our Canadian socials requirements for the year. This has greatly simplified our homeschool day making it feel much more relaxed. I decided to ditch Latin (gasp!) in favor of an easy year. I want to enjoy this little person and the two other blessings I already have. They have a life time to learn Latin.
The last week has been so pleasant because we planned ahead and worked over the summer. I also slept more and cleaned out a few areas that were driving me crazy. The garage still awaits some attention...but bending over is not my favorite past time right now. It may have to wait :o) Simplifying life by planning has been such a blessing!

We did a little bit of this:

A lot of this!
We have local pool that has a family swim for FREE 3 times a week. Needless to say...we lived at the pool....and my kids are better swimmers for it. Lessons are overrated.


I cooked a bit of this getting ready for you know who.
Not as much as I'd have liked but I still have time.


I froze tons of these blue babies for the fall and winter.
I might be going back for more this week.
I could live on this pie alone :o)
Yeah, my homemade crust looks awful but it sure tastes good.


Just thought you'd appreciate seeing them in mass!


I baked 60 of these puppies in various flavours. I wanted to provide easy snacks for when my sweet husband will be doing the domestic thing for the first few weeks after little man arrives.
I made whole wheat blueberry, chocolate chip and strawberry.....the real problem is keeping hands out of the freezer until October!


Happy Fall!