Sunday, December 07, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
If I may continue to ask, please pray about the long term effects. We have been told that it would be detrimental for Eli to get another cold too close to having RSV. There can be respiratory issues for years. This is the season for sneezing and all matter of cold bugs. As a mother I am tempted to fret over trying to protect my little man. Honestly, it feels overwhelming to think a cold could put us back in the hospital and I can't even see my enemy to avoid it. Once again I must cling to His provision and sovereignty in regards to tomorrow and years down the rode. Eli is safe because God loves him more then I do.
Thanks again for praying for us and our precious boy!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Little man is such a trooper. He will be coughing to the pointing of throwing up and then look up and smile at me. That's my sweet natured boy. What a precious gift he is to us!
One area of prayer is that there will be no long term effects from the RSV.
We appreciate your continued prayers.
I'm off to bed while the baby sleeps.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
-Charles Bridges (1794–1869), from A Commentary on Proverbs (Banner of Truth, 1846/1968) pp. 24–25.
I woke to read this quote on one of my favorite blogs this morning. What an appropriate word to start my day. This is my struggle...to be self reliant and desire control.
You can read the entire post at Sovereign Grace Blog.
Have a blessed and dependant day on the Lord!
I am actually posting in the morning because Eli slept from 11pm to 6:30 am this morning.Go Eli!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Can you tell I am beaming from ear to ear!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Busyness does not mean I am diligent
Busyness does not mean I am faithful
Busyness does not mean I am fruitful.........
Read the rest of the post at CJ Mahaney's blog
"The realization that I can be simultaneously busy and lazy, a hectic sluggard".....OUCH!
A hectic sluggard keeps ringing in my ears. This post hits home on many levels. I am always fighting for efficiency but often while running in circles. I so quickly forget the true priority and calling I have, which is God first and them my family. Even when I am serving my family I can be lazy which then causes a hectic scramble later that I will blame on everyone else. I also see where I lack love in how I do things because I was a sluggard and now need to catch up. Definitely plan to spend more time thinking and praying through this (while taking the fact that I have a newborn into consideration). I long to be fruitful not just busy and efficient. I always thought doing things in the fastest way was fruitful....not so sure anymore.
Does this ring true with anyone else?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Some things I have been reading:
- Amy Humble Musings is doing a series on how they become debt-free. I am enjoying reading this and look forward to more. I have such a desire to become more self-sustaining, living a simple uncluttered life.
- I am also overjoyed for my friend Stacy who is having a baby soon. Her journey in building her family has been such a testimony of God's grace and an encouragement to me. She recently posted ultrasound pictures.
- I also read this quote on the girltalk blog and so appreciated it.
"It is faith that enlivens our work with perpetual cheerfulness. It commits every part of it to God, in the hope, that even mistakes shall be overruled for his glory; and thus relieves us from an oppressive anxiety, often attendant upon a deep sense of our responsibility. The shortest way to peace will be found in casting ourselves upon God for daily pardon of deficiencies and supplies of grace, without looking too eagerly for present fruit." Jerry Bridges
Read anything interesting yourself lately?
Saturday, November 08, 2008
While I know God is good in all things, loosing a child is SO hard. All of sudden not having to get up in the middle of the night to feed their little girl.....explaining the loss of their baby sister to a four year old and two year old is one of those things nobody teaches you how to do.
My heart is breaking for them.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Can't leave out little cutie pie Eli....no need for a costume!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Have a great weekend. I hope to post for real over the weekend.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Babies, jobs and houses OH MY!
My husband started his new job yesterday. What an amazing story of God's provision! He lined up so many details, like salary, time frames, close transit, and the crazy part is that they came looking for him, not the other way around. They called for a phone interview, had two more in person interviews and within a week he had a job. We signed the contract the Friday before I went into the hospital on the Tuesday. What a relief for my hard working man. He could really be focused on his family during the birth and not worry about providing for us. I thought this especially was so kind God. It is so much harder on them then us when there are financial and job struggles. We are so thankful!
As he catches the bus at 5:30 am (bless his heart) I am at home with a newborn plus two and a c-section recovery. I am so grateful that this section is like night and day compared with my last one five years ago. I feel great comparatively and am so glad that my body is healing so well. During times of change I have learned to live in blocks. Blocks you ask?......blocks of time. My husband and I sit down and hammer out what is the most important. And we share with the kids what those five or so blocks of time will be. Then during the day I can do what ever block works for us. Nap and quiet time can be at 10 am if I need it to be whereas in regular daily life it is usually the same time daily. This gives me the flexibility to care for baby, my own body and still give my big kids some kind of structure.
Theses are our current blocks:
Morning time - getting ready for the day, teeth etc
Nap/ Quiet time - my big kids don't sleep anymore so it's easier to use this one any time of day to suite Eli or myself
Fun/ free time
Exercise/Walk - a short trip around the block to get fresh air (I don't go to far yet)
What are some the adjustments you make when life is busy and in transition? I am all for gleaning from others and growing in this area of serving my family.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
For many years I kept things I didn't really need. I had boxes of things I might use one day. I convinced myself that I was being a good steward by not getting rid of them. I was fooling myself. My real motivation for keeping things was fear. I grew up poor and we have spent many years of our marriage just surviving financially. My true heart in keeping things was a fear of not being able to replace them five years done the road. (There is a true stewardship of things and I feel a need to be wisely frugal but that's not where my heart was)
Several years ago God got a hold of my heart and opened my eyes to another way of looking at things. First of all my hoarding was a lack of trust in His provision. Secondly, if I had something someone else could use and I kept it "just in case" I was NOT doing good to others and putting them before myself. So I slowly started finding people to give these things too who needed them. It freed my heart from holding on in sinful fear and blessed others in need. All I have is His, therefore it should be used for the better of others and not my little kingdom.
I have found such joy in giving things away, of not holding onto something that takes space and energy in my life to maintain. That energy and space can now be used for my family, which is my top priority in the day in and day out.
I also used to keep way to many things for sentimental reasons....this too was another self focused venture. Keeping too many things related to memories only clutters my shelves and my life. Dusting tons of trinkets takes time :o) What I now do is take a picture if it's that important or simply write in my journal about the object and event related. That way it is recorded and remembered but not in a way that creates more work for me or detracts from my available time to my family.
Take a trip over to Steph's blog and read the other entries. I found this encouraging to ponder and make sure I haven't fallen back into old patterns. I must confess baby stuff takes up a lot of space but it's only seasonal :o) The bonus is, most of my baby stuff was given to me with a heart of generosity. I attend the best church on earth!
Now please don't challenge me to get rid of the many many books that are laying around my home....I'm just not ready for that :o)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Great Is the Lord
A Song of Praise. Of David.
I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.
One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.
The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your saints shall bless you!
[The Lord is faithful in all his words and kind in all his works]. The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.
We are enjoying a special time as a family. It really hit home that I had another baby when we returned from the hospital to our own home. I just wept as I saw my two older children kissing and loving on their new baby brother. To top it all off my eight year old daughter, upon seeing Eli the first time said "Mama, Eli looks just like Jonah". I would have to agree with her, to me it was just another display of God's kindness.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thought I'd post a few pictures now and fill in the details later.
I am relishing every moment I have with Eli right now :o)
Monday, October 06, 2008
Lots of energy in the last week has gone into preparing for tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital at 6:15am and we will meet our little man at 8 am Tuesday morning. Can I tell you how excited I am ! I still can't wrap my head around the reality of all this yet but so grateful anyway. Packing our bag with little clothes and things for a new baby...is this real??? I can only imagine the emotions that will come.
More good news.....hubby got a job just this part Friday. What a relief for him going into the hospital for three days with me.....knowing he has a way to provide for his family. The details God worked out on our behalf are so encouraging. So thankful for God's provision and perfect timing.
I will pop in and post pictures in the next week or so.
I need to go back to bed....yes it is 3:30 am....a little pregnancy insomnia. Good prep for the sleepless nights ahead.
Thanks for your prayers!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I have a dear friend from church coming to look at it tomorrow...hopefully we will resurrect the Kenmore!
Friday, September 12, 2008
The other reason this post struck me is, of coarse, our son Jonah. We did have all the pre-natal testing with him and if was confirmed he had Trisomy 18. T-18 is the same as Down's except the extra chromosome is on number 18 and not number 21. The lower the number of chromosome the more issues the child will have. Once Jonah's diagnosis was made the doctors wrote him off. The entire process of pre-natal testing to us was a means to gain help. We quickly discovered that the testing to the doctors was to determine if they were obligated to help us. When it was confirmed that he had Trisomy 18, they washed there hands of him and told us to go home. If we terminated his life there were support groups and services to help us. If we carried, which we did, we were told there was nothing they would do for us even if Jonah was born alive. They said we wouldn't find a doctor anywhere that would help prolong the inevitable. So if he survived birth they would do nothing to help him. It was the most unreal place I have ever been in my life. It opened my eyes to the real agenda of pre-natal testing.
Anyway, here's a portion of the post: I would encourage you to go over and read the whole article:
The wrenching diagnosis of 47 chromosomes must seem to parents like the end of a dream instead of the beginning of a life. But children born with Down syndrome -- who learn slowly but love deeply -- are generally not experienced by their parents as a curse but as a complex blessing. And when allowed to survive, men and women with an extra chromosome experience themselves as people with abilities, limits and rights. Yet when Down syndrome is detected through testing, many parents report that genetic counselors and physicians emphasize the difficulties of raising a child with a disability and urge abortion.
This is properly called eugenic abortion -- the ending of "imperfect" lives to remove the social, economic and emotional costs of their existence. And this practice cannot be separated from the broader social treatment of people who have disabilities. By eliminating less perfect humans, deformity and disability become more pronounced and less acceptable. Those who escape the net of screening are often viewed as mistakes or burdens. A tragic choice becomes a presumption -- "Didn't you get an amnio?" -- and then a prejudice. And this feeds a social Darwinism in which the stronger are regarded as better, the dependent are viewed as less valuable, and the weak must occasionally be culled.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I am referring to Jerry Bridges who wrote the book "Trusting God Even When Life Hurts". It amazes me how God can use someone who is a perfect stranger to alter your view of Himself....it's an amazing level of influence and a big means of God's grace. This book changed my life about 6 years ago. It is a place I go when I could be or am tempted to believe that God is not in control or good in His plans.
The person, my dear friend Nan, who sent me the book is also a means of grace (hi Nan). It took much faith and love, to send a book like this to someone who had just buried a child. This book came to me in a very dark time in my life and become (eventually) a huge ray of light and peace. I do recall clearly reading the first chapter and being so angered, that I threw it across the room. My (lack of) theology wasn't lining up with a God that would allow my baby to die and then call it good as icing on the cake. My friends timing was perfect and to this day I am so grateful she took the opportunity to send me a book she knew would probably cause me to struggle....but struggle for the good.
I have revisited this book many times over the last 6 years. Our current circumstances with my husbands job and baby on the way have drawn me back to this book once again. Mr. Bridge's book explains the doctrine of God's sovereignty in a way that someone like me can understand. The doctrine of God's sovereignty has brought such peace and rest in how I see what "happens to me" in light of what he has done for me. The title of Chapter 1 is "Can You Trust God?"...great question. This book taking me straight to scripture over and over, helped me find a clear answer to that question. Either God is in control or he isn't. Since He is over all things, then the ability to rest in what comes my way is possible.....even when it hurts or doesn't follow my plan and oh...how many plans I have for myself ;o). Slowly saturating myself in God's sovereignty has been good medicine for my heart and for the many difficult places we have found ourselves. Whether it be babies, houses, jobs or even just a cruddy day. He is present and purposeful for my good in all these things.
I am not saying that God's sovereignty is never painful or even severe. I know I run for the path of least resistance and greatest ease when given the opportunity. Is that for my good? There are things that happen that don't have answers in this life. I will explore this in my next post.
I highly recommend this book. But be warned....if you are new to The Doctrine of God's Sovereignty...you will be offended. But being offended with truth is not a bad thing.
A few quotes I have been savoring over the last few weeks:
"How shall we respond to the fact that God is able to and does in fact move in the minds and hearts of people to accomplish His will? Our first response should be one of trust. Our careers and destinies are in His hands; not the hands of bosses, commanding officers, professors, coaches, and all other people who, humanly speaking, are in a position to affect our futures. No one can harm or jeopardize your future apart from the sovereign will of God. Moreover, God is able to and will grant you favor in the eyes of people who are in a position to do you good. You can entrust your future to God." pg. 70
"Confidence in God's sovereignty in the lives of people should also keep us from becoming resentful and bitter when we are treated unjustly or maliciously by others" p.70
This one is crucial right now because there are accusations about my husband's integrity going on right now with his old job....this one is hard for me...grrrrr.
"God is for us, we are His children, He delights in us (Zephaniah 3:17). And the scripture says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31). We can put this down as a bedrock truth: God will never allow any action against you that is not in accord with His will for you. And His will is always directed to our good." pg. 71
Monday, September 08, 2008
So, my husband has officially been let go at his job. We got the news last Friday. It is so funny how they keep saying it has nothing to do with performance but about him not being able to work locally. When they hired him they KNEW he would always work from home and that there is a two hour ferry ride between us and them. They said he could keep his (very unstable) job if we moved to them at our expense. I actually got a laugh out of that one! I wouldn't trust these people as far as I could throw them...and right now I probably couldn't pick them up. I have trouble picking up my 50lb. five year old right now :o)
On the baby front.....he is well and growing like crazy. Bending over is becoming more and more difficult....a good sign. So overjoyed at this gift of life. Finally, got the ball rolling on finding another doctor. The first doctor wanted to wait too long to do my c-section in my opinion, putting myself and baby at risk...long story. Please pray all is settled quickly. It would sure be helpful to know when the c-section is going to be in light of job hunting and me being off my feet for a few weeks.
How are we doing.....actually by God's grace much better then we deserve. Though I definitely have my moments.. I am at peace. God would never save us and sanctify us, make a home in heaven for eternity and then leave us to ourselves in our current situation. He is a faithful provider, an ever present help in trouble and a constant companion. All that said, my sinful heart is not faithful, not constant nor reliable. Fortunately that doesn't matter. What a relief that the cross covers all my sins. My biggest struggle (an area you can pray for me) is my own heart, my temptation to ungratefulness which is fueled by discontent. I do not want all the things of this world, like lack of work, others (really bad) choices, and worry to overshadow the joy and rejoicing of this new life in my belly. It really is a miracle that God has allowed this to happen again.
I am grateful for sound doctrine too. As I grow more and more in the gospel I see how sound doctrine allows me to be (come) the helper and mom I am designed to be. When the storms hit my hope is that the waves hit a firm wall of sound truth by his grace and there will be no tossing about. This is my prayer.
Don't get the wrong impression. I have my moments, I am still tired and weary in many ways. I also have a surgery recovery ahead of me in the next few weeks...not knowing if my husband will be working or not. At the end of the day God is unshakable therefore I can rest. When I can't rest he will still show up!
Thanks for all your prayers.
I have been reading some great books lately that have lead my heart to truth that I hope to share about....where would I be without the written word!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
The last week has been so pleasant because we planned ahead and worked over the summer. I also slept more and cleaned out a few areas that were driving me crazy. The garage still awaits some attention...but bending over is not my favorite past time right now. It may have to wait :o) Simplifying life by planning has been such a blessing!
I baked 60 of these puppies in various flavours. I wanted to provide easy snacks for when my sweet husband will be doing the domestic thing for the first few weeks after little man arrives.
I made whole wheat blueberry, chocolate chip and strawberry.....the real problem is keeping hands out of the freezer until October!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
My husbands job is up in the air right now (long story). Any day we could get the phone call that he no longer has a job. Right now we aren't sure he will get paid week to week. Things are very tight and one missed check could be real trouble for us. Many of you know about our moving saga's....so longing not to repeat that again. Please pray that another job will come quickly or the current situation will resolve. We literally don't know daily if he will continue to have a job. The possible loss of his job creates many scenarios around the baby, our home life, etc that I wrestle to the ground daily.
There has been some issues with our doctor and the scheduled section (will tell that story in full later). Pray that this will be resolved quickly. It has created lots of anxiousness for me. Bringing back dreams of the death of our son Jonah. The crazy emergency c-section of our son Isaac that could have gone very badly. I am hormonal and honestly dealing with fear of loosing this one too. It's unfounded and irrational but it's a daily battle that I feel I loose often.
This is one of my favorite songs right now. I came across this video with the music and wanted to share it. God is so faithful. I am simply so tired. My life feels like a huge upward climb that is zapping all my strength. I don't do weakness well (because of my pride). I am weak right now and my only strength are His promises and truth. We will be carried through this, I am just so glad that:
He is who He is....no matter where I am .
Because right now I feel so done, weak and unable. If he doesn't carry me I will fall BUT he has promised he will....so I let go and trust I will be caught.
I hope you are encouraged and I am so grateful for your prayers. God has brought me to my knees and with my temptation to pride and arrogance...this isn't a bad thing.
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down,
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
He is doing well. We took our two other children today and their reactions were cute. They really had a hard time figuring out what they were seeing but seemed to enjoy it none the less. Baby is actually growing quite ahead for his dates but so did my 5 year old (9lbs. 6oz at 38 weeks). I think it is the big heads my babies tend to have that throw off the measurements. It is actually reassuring that he is larger due to an early c-section. So Lord willing in about 6-7 weeks we will meet this big guy face to face.
I still can't believe I get to do this again.....I am so grateful!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Where does the time go!
He is the comedian of the family, constantly looking to make other people laugh. When he wakes in the morning he is cheerful (loudly cheerful I might add) and ready to go with hugs, kisses and lots of conversation. He's always been a morning person. I love that about him!
Sunday, August 03, 2008
I will still pop in for baby updates and the occasion quote but overall I am leaving blog land for most of August but I will be back!
All is well with baby by the way..... 29 weeks tomorrow. We set up the crib yesterday. I spent time washing a few baby clothes. I found the sleepers my older kids came home from the hospital in.....what great memories. It felt good! I still am humbled by the fact that I get to have another baby. God is so kind and merciful.
Have a great remaining summer!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Why should Christians preach the gospel to themselves everyday?
- guilt preaches to us everyday
- disappointment preaches to us everyday
- worry preaches to us everyday
- fear preaches to us everyday
- our besetting sins preach to us everyday
- death preaches to us everyday
- the temporal world preaches to us everyday
You can listen to the entire message The Gospel and The Glory here.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Homeschooling is not the salvation of our culture. Jesus is. Homeschooling will not make a family successful. Jesus does. Homeschooling will not keep a child from rebellion. Jesus does. Homeschooling will not keep a marriage strong. Jesus does. And the minute, I think that homeschooling will do any of these things, is the day I begin the slide toward defeat. Homeschooling will not build a successful family any more than a hammer will build a successful house.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
This is one little boy talking to another.
Well....it really isn't words more like grunts and animal sounds.
Ever since I told my son the baby can hear him they have conversations everyday.
I love this picture...though I wish I was smiling.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
To relish: pleasure; enjoyment; zest; to enjoy
This word explains it all. The moving is over and we are settled. We are doing things in school we really enjoy like Exploring Creation Botany. Learning together and being fascinated by God's creation and handy work all around us. There is time to simply be together, to explore and relax with each other. Sharing our gratefulness and wonder of being blessed with a strong healthy baby who proves this with each kick we feel and see at times. A season of rest and pleasure in simple everyday things that make us a family.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
I also freeze most of them to use in muffins, waffles, for smoothies and whatever yummy strawberry thing I can think of.....I have recently started making strawberry syrup for our homemade waffles. :o) We will do the same for blueberries later in the season and pick more strawberries for the freezer. I love having berries all year round.
This was the hottest day of the weekend. We were in our backyard pool after taking in a kid movie and going to a gorgeous shady park for the afternoon. We have no A/C and it was hot Sunday. Me and my big belly loved the air conditioning of the movie theatre. What a thoughtful husband I have....I know that's why we really went to the movies.
There is always a big fair on Canada Day. This year we actually took in the rides and the kids loved it!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Also please pray for friends of ours who had a ultrasound this week and got some concerning news. They are going for testing to better determine what, if anything is going on with their little person. Peace for them as they wait. Waiting is so brutal!
Have a blessed weekend. We plan to berry pick, go to the beach and watch fire works.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Cost per drawing and frame $2.99 each at a local thrift store.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Each time I’ve visited Mom’s house recently, it looks different than the time before. Another room sits bare. The living room is stacked higher with more Dole fruit boxes, appropriately labeled.
The house has undergone a lot of changes over the years. In fact, although my parents lived in the same house for twenty-two years, our house never stayed the same. Mom’s daily effort was to make it more beautiful, comfortable, welcoming, and useful.
We aren’t a terribly sentimental family when it comes to stuff. My parents never spent too much time living in the past—there is so much to do in the present! So our home wasn’t about preserving memories so much as making more.
Finish reading here.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Those of you not from Canada are probably baffled by the whole teacher accountability thing but hey it works for us :o)
Here are the cuties learning in the structures class.
My daughter is in the white shirt front and center.
Painting in the co-op art class.
They did sand art and marble painting plus alot more.
There were more pictures but somehow they were deleted off the digital camera.
Oh well! You probably couldn't stand anymore pictures anyway!