Thursday, September 06, 2007

Fly Away Home

Our two living treasures were safe at home with a friend. We drove off in anticipation of seeing this new little one for the first time....but we discovered from this ultrasound that our 5th little baby went home to Jesus.

Does it break a mama's heart to have to say goodbye (for now) to her baby? I cannot tell you how much. But where can a mother grieve and rejoice in the same the foot of the cross. He has paid for death already. This little baby isn't truly dead as we think of death.... our baby is simply missing from this earth but present with Jesus. This baby will never know pain, tears or hardship. Our baby will only know a sin-less world along with it's two older siblings. If our baby can't be in my arms, the best place it can be is in the arms of the Lord. How can I not find joy in knowing this baby fully "sees" Jesus and is fully known....whole and completely satisfied with no need or want. There is such tremendous peace knowing this little one is gazing in the face of the savior.

We are doing well. Are we sad and grieving over losing the dream of having another child to love and raise? Absolutely! It feels especially painful at times due to infertility up to this point. We also feel this is it for us in regards to having biological children. That's a grieving process in itself. We are at peace with knowing God is good and sovereign. We rest in His perfect care and plan for us and that of our little baby. We are grateful that through our saviors great mercy this baby is safe though away from us for a season.

We could use your prayers. I have not passed the baby physically. Our last miscarrage ended in a D&C, because my body never did its job. They are recommending we do the same again. We have a few decisions to make. Also please pray that we will find favor in the medical system (if you live in Canada you know what I mean). The last miscarriage was a bit of a hassle in that regard...I would love to see this go more smoothly. Pray for our children too. My son was so eager to be a big brother.


Genoa Allen said...

Sandi & Aaron,
My heart grieves for you two and the children. But in the next breath my heart leaps at the faithfulness of God and your alls trust in him! It is truely a shining eviedence of God's grace in your lives and what a testimony you have!! You know (and say as much) that God's plans are perfect and we will not know this side of heaven the "whys" but what peace to know that HE KNOWS and loves us so very much!! We love you all and miss you a bunch! Wish I could give you a big hug! In His amazing grace,
Genoa and guys

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. It's amazing how quickly we mothers can become attached to our little ones...even those we never got to meet. Saying a prayer for your family...

Taunya said...

Sandi & Aaron,
My heart broke when I read this. I can relate to a previous writter - broken hearted yet rejoicing that you and your family have fixed your gaze on the cross. I can say with confidence that our Heavenly Father is deeply pleased. Through this you have brought him nothing but glory. Thank you for this amazing example. And yes, our prayers are with you.

Lots of Love,

Tracy said...

I am so sorry. I will be praying for you A LOT...and your family. God is good...always.

Cara said...

How amazing and how holy it is to see children of God who receive the grace to say, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." This post is such a testimony to the love and faithfulness of God in your lives. I am so sorry for your loss... trusting that you will know his nearness at this time... praying for your family... and so eager to meet all three of yours who have been sent ahead--some day, when all is perfect and complete. We love you all.

Ann said...

Oh Sandi,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Mourning with you yet rejoicing in the Grace of God so evident in this whole experience.

Stacy said...

Oh my friend... I am so very sorry.
I am praying for you and yours.

damaris said...

you don't know me from adam, but i'm a friend of aly sczebels who lives in florida...i came out on the 05 eteam.

i just wanted to let you know that i'll be lifting you and your family up to God in the next few weeks. my own mum went through that so i was especially moved at the trust in God your post displayed. thank you.

Kara Alcantar said...

mrs. meyerhoff.
i was thinking about you and your family the other day, and then i loggedon to aly's blog. i am so sorry to hear of the loss you are going through.
but when i think of that sweet baby, in heaven where its always smiling, face beaming, with our Saviour i smile.
there is no better place for that baby to be.
you are an amazing example of trusting God when it hurts like aly said.
im praying for you.

Elise said...

Oh, my friend, I am so sorry. I am praying fervently for a natural passage for your little one's body - know that the soul is already home! He holds it in His hand.

And I am praying. Love to you.

Stacy (Aussie in America) said...

I'm so sorry this has happened. I will be saying a prayer for you and your family.
Your attitude and perspective are truly admirable. I wish you peace and comfort.

Rebeca said...

I'm a friend of Staci's (With Great Joy) and am praying for you and your family. I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your little one, and grieve with you. I have lost two this way in the last year, and know all too well both the pain and the peace you speak of. May our God continue to bathe you in His love and care as you face each moment and each day.
In His love,

Beka said...

Safe in the arms of Jesus,
Safe on His gentle breast,
There by His love o'ershaded
Sweetly my soul shall rest.

Grieving with you, as I read your sad news. My husband and I have just lost our second child, a child we prayed for and waited for. And yet, what a comfort to know that our little ones are safe in His arms! I will be praying for you: for peace and strength and comfort for your family, and for natural passage of this little one.

Sending much love and a hug,

Beverly said...

I came here from Stacy's blog. She was so right about how beautifully you expressed yourself in this post. I will be praying for you as you grieve, and will also pray that the process will go quickly and smoothly for you.

Loraena said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for you.

Kimmie said...


May God fill you and comfort you beyond all you could ask or think. I pray that His word rises in you and reminds you of his worthiness of our praise. He loves you and all of yours with a neverending love and is there in your midst to hold you through this.

praying for you

shawn said...

sincerest prayers for you and your family. your faith is astonishing and beautiful, and will surely carry you.

Charissa said...

Dear mother,
I just found your blog and was grieved to hear of your news. My husband and I lost our first baby to miscarriage three months ago. I was encouraged by your testimony of faith and trust. That brings much glory to God.
Praying for you,