Recently at church there was a message on Psalm 90. It is a very humbling Psalm to read because it definitely puts my life in perspective. This Psalm also gives me great hope. If you have been reading my blog for anytime you know we are pregnant with our 5th baby. God has blessed us and I am in my 10th week. You would also know that we have faced the loss of a son. I have struggled with fear pretty much sense I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't want to be afraid and because of my pride I didn't want others to know I was afraid. God knew my heart. We have faced much that has taught us that God is sovereign and good regardless of circumstances....also His word tells me these things are true, yet I still battled to keep my thoughts on that truth.
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Return, O Lord! How Long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
God already has our days numbered, not one of us will live one day longer or be taken one day before He allows it. My days are numbered.....this life inside me has it's days numbered. My heart was flooded with peace. This baby will live it's ordained number of days be that till next week or to the ripe old age of 85. So I don't need to waste my thoughts and energy on what might happen. God carries that number close to His heart doing what is best for our little one. Those days are written in great detail. God knows this little person! I have no reason to fear. I have only to rejoice in the mercy and kindness of God and to be satisfied in what He has already done on my behalf and that of my baby.
I am so grateful that though I fall short to trust, He provides peace and grace in my time of need.