It is a wonderful thing to wake and be greeted by mercy and kindness. Though it is there everyday there are moments I am more aware of it then others. This past Monday was one of those days. I was unexpectedly surprised by undeserving grace.
It really started in April of 2000 when God blessed us with a beautiful baby girl who has become the light of our lives. In His kindness he blessed us with a child. She is now seven and reading away in the other room. Our second child, a son....and equal blessing arrived in April 2002. Through God's perfect plan he went to be with the Lord shortly after birth (more Sovereignty Chronicles to come). After much sorrow God allowed a third bundle of joy to arrive in August 2003 who we affectionately call "Buster Bar Superstar"......his real name means joy and laughter. We faced many complications with this son too, but God in His kindness allowed him to stay. What undeserved grace and mercy! Our fourth little person....a girl.... left due to miscarriage at 11 weeks in 2005. Then the wait......
We had conceived 4 times in 5 years and for over a year nothing. Symptoms started to show and I was diagnosed with PCOS.....which causes infertility. Our only option was to take drugs to help my body do it's thing. I cried in sorrow but God in his kindness turned my heart toward Him and called me to trust. We sought help. It failed.
So this takes us to Monday morning.....I rolled out of bed at 6:20am. Saw the test on the counter and felt like I was wasting my money. I was 5 days late....no surprise with PCOS. I went through the motions knowing the end result....how many times had I done this before? To my shock one line started to show and then the second. I started to laugh out loud....I didn't know what else to do. I hadn't taken any fertility drugs this month. I chuckled in disbelief. What mercy and kindness! I don't deserve this....who am I that He would love me like this and give me such treasure. I have dear friends who cannot have children.....why do I get this blessing? I don't know except that He is kind, He is good, He is the giver of all good things.
So God has blessed us with our 5th little baby. I have no idea what the outcome will be but I do know God is sovereign and good. That's all I need to know.