Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lord help, Help me lay down my life

These words are from a post by my cyber friend Stacy (click below). Her post on "What about Me" first convicted me of my own sin and then has stuck in my mind over the last few days. Not only do I struggle with this related to my husband but my children too. I think I deserve a break. Space for myself. I deserve nothing, absolutely nothing.
Where this has been particularly challenging for me is related to how I am feeling physically. I have not been feeling well off and on since I started new meds related to a fertility problem. I had a crummy 3 weeks and got better...now this week I feel yucky again. Because I don't feel well I think I am entitled to something. I feel I am entitled to be grumpy with my kids or husband. That I am entitled to rest and relaxation. After all I am sick right, my life stinks, I cannot have a baby and I have had to bury one of my others. What sin sick self pity!

I am grateful to Stacy for her post because though for the most part it was controlled "Whoa is me" behavior.....my heart was in sin and self focus. I know clearly when this sin of self pity takes over because I begin to get irritated at every little thing my kids do. When they do childish things that would be expected I over react. I am more focused on myself then I am my servant role of mother and wife. The greatest servant of all has died for my sin so I would never know the wrath that I deserve. Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ!....and for people who will reflect the gospel to my sin sick heart.

1 comment:

Stacy said...

Wow. I'm truly so humbled and grateful that God could use what I wrote (based on the sin in my own heart) to speak to you.
Thank you for your kind comment.
And I will remember to pray for your health. And heart.
~Stacy