Is it 2010 already?

It has been a bit of a blur around here. I think I am finally back on my feet. The stomach flu left for good last Wednesday. The only word to describe how it ripped through our family is...NASTY. Isaac is now battling a coughy runny nose but that's a walk in the park. I'm still unpacking but mostly in the non essential areas. The learning room is up and running minus a few boxes of reading books. Feels good!

I feel as if my New Year is finally starting. Little time to reflect over the last six weeks has proven hard. I relish quiet time to ponder and be left with my thoughts. I look forward to returning to this on a regular basis as I know it helps my perspective in the day to day.

I have in snippets thought about this year..2010. In many places I have read people have "a word" for this year. Though not intentionally, I have been feeling that there is a word for me this year:

RELATIONSHIPS

I want to grow on many levels in this area...within my own family, my church family and my community. I am one who is pretty content to be by myself. To the point that I see my oldest child desiring to be alone a little too much. She is inclined that way but also observes and hears my enjoyment of it. Though I believe it is how I recharge my batteries, I can also become quite selfish with it. This last year has been especially bad with the many struggles I have faced with my middle child. It was just easier to stay at home which fed that tendency.

I am not exactly sure what this will mean for us/me. One area I am working on changing is the time we spend in our community, which is at this point very little. Our church is in the process of doing more in mercy ministries so there will be opportunities provided. I also plan to have more people in my home on a regular basis. I so desire my children to look outward. Serving others is an influenced and learned choice. Left to ourselves we serve ourselves.

It is a fine balance between "needing" space and wanting it. Our culture influences us to take what we need, be good to ourselves, and convinces us we deserve a break. I do believe that each person is built differently and has different needs. I know for me there are many times when my choices are based solely on selfish desires and not a need. And the difficult part is I see the fruit of it in my own children. It's not what I want to teach them is the priority. I want Christ's example of laying His life down to be the main thing.

So this year is the year of re-evaluating my RELATING to God, my husband, my kids, my church, friends and community. Should be an interesting ride.


PS. Sorry, still no pictures. Haven't resolved the camera issue.

Quick Update

We are moved into the new place. Sorry no pictures yet due to camera breakage. It went well. We have a great church family and some hard working guys in our circle. Thank you!

So we moved Saturday and then Isaac started throwing up Sunday. He finally stopped late last night. Needless to say there has been little sleep for us around here. We are holding our breath waiting to see who goes down next. So far so good.

One slight problem though....the washer, upon first attempted use leaked all over the floor. Lots of puke and no washing machine makes for a bit of craziness. Not only can I not find the towels and blankets...I can't wash the ones I do find.

At least we have blankets, towels and a warm place to lay our sick heads.
The sun is shining outside and I see trees outside every window I look...so grateful for the little things.

I won't be around a bit longer.....till the sickness has blown over, laundry is caught up and my house has some semblance of order.

Help Haiti

I spent the Christmas of 1994 in Haiti. I remember it being the only Christmas that I truly sweat through. It was hot! My most vivid memories are of the children, the orphans in particular. The poverty there is none like we in North America would ever understand.

It is hard to hear and see the terrible effects the earthquake has had on a nation already so desperate, needy and poor. I watched a mother clinging to her dead baby in a picture and can't imagine her pain. Even though I have lost a child it isn't the same. She was probably struggling to feed that baby already. Fighting everyday just to eat and survive. A poverty so severe that moms would beg you to take their babies home with you, so they could have a better life. Then on top of that, the quake hits and takes what little they have. My heart breaks for them. I think of those children in the orphanages I visited years ago. Though they are grown now there are more to take their place. Who is holding those kids? Comforting them in their fear?

Why are my kids warm, safe and cared for and theirs aren't? I know God is sovereign and I will trust that even though I don't understand. These are the times when I truly don't understand. I know God is good and faithful but yet the suffering is hard to come to terms with. I can't see all things clearly so I trust.

As my blog goes quiet for a season due to our move I leave a small way to help. It is so little compared to the need but every little bit does make a difference.

Haiti Earthquake

8 Days and Counting

I'm still here, just pre-occupied with boxes, paper and a cute baby. Only about a week left before the move. All issues are resolved (thank God). Eli has taken to scaling the stacked boxes. He finds great pleasure in climbing on them and standing tall for all to see. I am sure that standing in the middle of the dining room table is not far off.

Unfortunately, catching that moment on camera might prove difficult. In trying to take Eli's 15 month picture I dropped my camera on the hardwood floor. The screen is now half black and white with no image. Everything at this age is a race and chasing your baby without the camera strap around your wrist is well.....not such a good idea.

At least I captured the moment right before the camera hit the floor.

He may be really chubby but he is fast!

In other news, my soon to be ten year old daughter announced how excited she was that she will be living in her 10th house when she turns ten. If it weren't for the joy in her voice I may have cried right there. This truly has not been a parenting goal of ours to help our kids transition so well but what can I say?

If there is one thing that moving many times and not being in control of how long we stay has taught me, it is this.......that THIS is not my home. He has gone away to prepare a place for me with many rooms and what an amazing place it will be. I will not only truly understand and experience permanence but also perfection, true peace and delight. So as I add one more thing to another box, I am grateful. Grateful that this current house nor the one I am moving too is my true home. That home is waiting for me undefiled, imperishable and unfading, being guarded till I arrive. (1 Peter 1:3-9)

Heavy Heart (1,000 Gifts)

I sit here in dim light drinking my lemon honey water in my big black Starbucks mug. There is much on my mind, my heart is heavy. The last few days my thoughts have centered on several of my friends and the difficult things they face.

My friend I asked prayer for who is facing cancer , a mom to three small boys. I was chatting with her on Sunday morning. She was sharing about God's goodness to her in how the cancer was found and the care she was receiving. I felt like I was standing on holy ground as she spoke of God's goodness in the midst of what she is facing.

My dear friend has MS and is having a particularly bad few weeks. I watch her suffer and can do nothing but pray and be a friend. I am so effected as she glorifies and honors God in her pain, sleeplessness and lack of mobility.

My own niece who has Cerebral Palsy who also has been in and out of hospital in the last few months fighting at times for her life. She was a normal healthy baby until moments before birth, half her blood volume returned to her mom's body depriving her brain of oxygen. She is 8 years old and has suffered much.

I think of my own son and though less painful still struggles I wish he didn't face.

Every thing in me wants to scream "NOT FAIR" . Which I know isn't the right response but one I do battle with. I trust God's sovereignty but don't always understand it.

I get angry at sin and all it carries with it. How it mars and messes up life. How it creates such suffering in this life. I want my friends and family to be free from all this.

In the same breathe I long, ache and yearn for the New Heaven and Earth.....where there will be no cancer, no MS, no brain damage or sensory struggles. These bodies of ours will work as they were perfectly designed to do. I really can't imagine in it's fullness, what that will be like. I do know that when I get there I look forward to seeing a little boy so missed from this earth.



As I head off to bed, heavy at heart I will speak of His gifts:



51. His sovereign plan even when we don't understand.

52. His goodness and faithfulness in that plan.

53. That sin and the enemy are totally defeated at the cross.

54. The glory He receives as my friends suffer and yet call Him good.

55. The benefit I gain from knowing and loving these people.

56. The hope of heaven ~ glorified bodies one day free of pain and sorrow.

57. For the gift of friendship ~ true comfort with another human being.

58. The laughs that come through tears.

59. The peace that provides all assurance and passes all understanding.

What Do You Think is On His Mind?

Please Pray

Just wanted to ask for prayer for a young in family at our church. I don't know tons of details. The wife has been diagnosed with cancer. I was told she will be facing surgery and then a year of chemo. She has three young sons the youngest just several months old.

I am not a crier and I have been crying off and on since I heard. This weighs heavy...they are such a great couple and a foundation in our church body. Please join me in crying out to the Lord for her full recovery and for Him to be glorified as they walk this out.